does LOVE means everything

Does LOVE means EVERTHING

26/01/09, 10.01am....1st day of cny, wake up early morning and call u...feeling damn miss u and was thinking how good if u were here wit me now....finally can online at home,should be happy....1st things is read ur blog...i wanna know what is in ur blog now....2 new blog after last week--end of story & one in a million--....ONE IN A MILLION....i really dunno what is my feeling now after read the blog....i remember last time when i write a blog about u, u say i write u like tat and din care ur feeling....immediate i delete it...u compare me with her....i m more bad than her....do i??barbaric....swearing....think out of box....future gf/lover....if angel appear again will cool with it....love urself......those word is in my mind now....am i upset??am i hurt??am i m ok??i dunno.....my mind is empty now....empty empty empty.....i cant think anything right now.....i should be more positive thinking....i promise myself and u that i will change....am i able to change???all the while, for the past 26 years, LOVE MEANS EVERYTHING for me.....so many times of disappointment, hurting, but i din learn to change this--love means everything--all my frens, especially darren, they feel disappointed with me....wont learn from hurting, still being stupid in love....but in my mind, IF love can be so rational, then is not true love....one of my fren, her ex say she is dating using brain and not using heart....what the point using brain in a relationship but not using heart??she tell me money is everything for her....she say i'm stupid....she ask me does love give u shelter??does love can make u full when u are hungry??rationally answer is NOT.....but RATIONAL and LOVE is 2 different things....i can be rational in many ways but not in love...for me LOVE IS BLIND....2 things appear in my mind now.....

being myself or being jessica

choose myself will definitely make both of us more unhappy, more things happen....
choose jessica will definitely make the relationship more happy but suffer myself....

i should choose let's it be....let's fate bring me to another way.....let's forget it, forget the blog...i know u will do whatever u think is right and is best for me....i choose to be jessica coz i love u.....i love u and cant live without u.....